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Sydney, NSW, Australia
Photographer. Writer. 45yo Indo-Fijian Australian. Glam Feminist. Coconuts.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Fait Accompliment...

I love receiving compliments. Not for the reason/s you think.  Oh sure, of course I love receiving them for the reason/s you think but... for the purpose of this post...that's not the reason.  Still with me?

I love receiving compliments because it tells me a lot - A LOT - about the person giving the compliment. 

I am grateful and humbled and delighted (not astounded) by all the gracious and delightful com[pli]ments I receive on my blog.  "Not astounded" because I am, by nature, a compliment-giver.  In the physical world I am vocal in my appreciation of the way others (family, friends, colleagues, strangers) are and/or look and/or do, think, feel, etc.  There is no ulterior motive, it is not said for gain, it is said to give.  Freely.

So if I'm like that, why would I be surprised that others are too?  I don't hold back.  I do call a spade a marvelous tool designed to dig its perfect streamlined surface to effectively toil the earth.  I don't just say "nice handle".

Just to make my viewpoint clear.  I don't compliment the object.  I compliment the subject.   

Let me also make it clear that I am not saying that every, or any, comment has to be a gushing geyser of compliments.  People are vastly different in how we show appreciation.  eg. three people watching/listening to a symphony... one will be crying... one will be beaming... and one will be silent and still.  I assure you.  All 3 are rapt.  One no less than the other.    Likewise compliments.  I am NOT talking about compliments that are simple and straightforward but they are still about the subject.

I'm talking about... "nice shoes" ["fun pics" "nice blog, follow mine"]  Etc. 
...Gee thanks.  Those shoes would still be nice on a donkey but obviously there is nothing about me [eg] that is worthy.  And "fun pics"???  Really??  I'm so glad I'm a fairground attraction for you.  And don't start me on that last example...  Then why comment???  I'd be happier with a "hmmm... I don't like those shoes but I do like that skirt on you",etc, etc.   

When I do leave a comment, it is most often if not always a compliment about the person and the person's choices.. not about the choices alone. 
It amuses me to a point when reading null compliments .  They're as well meaning as an airconditioner on a bike.  Have received a few of them lately.  I'm sure you're thinking "well, if you dislike them, why publish them?"  Hell.  Why not?  Energy was expended typing, I appreciate and respect that.  And it amuses me.  To a point.  

After that, it's pointless.  Makes me wonder why bother expending the energy.  I would rather no comments than an empty compliment.   That goes both ways.  For me that is a fait accompli...

vintage 'safari' dress * sequinned wedges * gold 'wayfarers' *  vintage belt * bangles * attitude


Polka Princess said...

Wow!! What a smart dress!! Very well put-together look dear....but then, you are always so good at that!! :)

My Style Advice said...

this is a beautiful outfit! Reminds me of 1920's inspired fashion. said...

You are like reading my mind. I was gonna do a post on a similar subject ... Telepathic, I tell you!!! :)

Those calf muscles tells so much about your level of fitness. You look like you are ready to cruise away in search of a mirage! In style, of course!

P.S. That belt is adding a lot of oomphh to the outfit, so are you, by the way! :)

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

Dusk dear. I have no clue about others. But the compliments I give you, are straight out of my heart and you know that. In fact, like I have told you, I visit handful of blogs- not more than 5, and rate you as the BESTEST.
In fact, most of the times, I am at loss of words to give you compliments. So I resist myself from going on and on.
P.S And yes, I so look forward to hearing from you. Any comment/compliment on my blog. That just makes my day.

Kiran Bajaj Sawhney said...

Oh and I missed- I love your outfit and the bangles and your whole look.
You quite love wedge heels. Don't you? They do look good on you.
I am not too fond of wedge. Maybe I am more accustomed to my Tango heels.

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

I'm pretty generous in giving compliments and I mean whatever I say. :)

And you look gorgeous and classy here! :)

carlyjcais said...

What an amazing sexy dress! I love how put-together it looks on you...and then you notice the top button is undone...GIRL!! \*o*/

And I totally hear you about uncomplimentary compliments. After posting for 30 days what I was wearing (which was literally hours of work each day with the styling, photographing, editing, and posting), someone commented "You look ridiculous and as if you're trying too hard. I'm not trying to insult you. I liked that last dress at the end." Well, um, thanks. That's a null, if not completely negative, comment if I ever saw one. Why bother? You're so right - complimenting the subject means so much more.
And I second the comment about your calves - you obviously are very fit and look fabulous!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm 100% agreeing with what you're sayin about comments and compliments, nodding myself here... 100%! I would know when comment is genuine and all, though it doesn't affect me really but I know who out there "cares" for me teeheehee...

L1L2 said...

:) we mean wat we say (especially when it comes to dusk devi) you are a rocker! even with a simple dress like this! there is that attitude whihc is unbeatable...

Enchanted Elle said...

Wow. I'm constantly in awe of your amazing style, presence and aura. You look lovely here. I love reading your blog because you constantly show what a wonderful person you are inside and out. and totally agree with you on empty compliments- I'd take constructive criticism any day.

jemina said...

Darling, I would love to compliment you on how stunning and inventive your outfit is, you always come out with something fresh and new, and I love your "dare to be different attitude", and you are an inspiration to me :)

Love always
xoxo, mwah..............

Isabelle said...

love your accessories xx

StuddedLilly said...

looking stunning lady!! i love that shot with you tilting you head back while brushing your hair back!

gayatri said...

ok, here goes- "nice belt" :D
*runs for cover*

Meg.Meh.P. ( said...


I am sorry for disturbing you, but i ask your minute :) take a look here

All you can do for me, just to press the 'like' button. :) (i bet it's very easy)

Everyone has some dreams, right? Too bad some people give up cause they think it's impossible.
But me not!
I want to be a fashion blogger, i love fashion and i am into it, that's why i started my blog.
People say that the best products are made with love,
so the main ingredient in my blog is LOVE for fashion.
And i am not about thinking to give up.
Everything comes step by step. So today i ask you to take a look at what i have done.
Do not charge me, I am new there and i am still learning.
But i hope you will like it and join on FB.

I just work for you


Rachel {Inspiration in Italy} said...

You are such a beautiful woman I can't even handle it. This outfit on you is the epitome of everything perfect....You take it to the next level with your beauty. I absolutely adore it!!! I think the 3rd photo might be my favourite....your are astoundingly gorgeous!

I so agree with you about the comments, I don't know why some people even make the effort to say anything at all when they clearly are not into it! lol


SabinePsynopsis said...

YOU are a beautiful woman, Dusk - that's clear. You wear your clothes wonderfully, with vigour and esprit. I guess fashion blogs are often seen as an exhibition of the items and not so much of the person (which doesn't bother me at all personally, I can get a bit frightened and suspicious when people say lots of nice things about me - which again shows how different we all are). xo

Leia said...

I cannot TELL you how much I hate those two word, empty comments! I would really rather they didn't write a message at all, like you said! The 'nice shoes brigade'... hehe.

Anyway, that dress is *marvellous*...!


vandana said...

Hi! Just discovered your blog and am obsessively combing through all the posts (in lieu of getting things done like studying..ahem). What I mean to say is, you are fabulous(!) and your style truly inspires me to be more colorful, to be more vibrant and really make my presence felt and really be solid and confident about putting myself out there.